Growing up you think you know about support systems. You have parents, siblings, friends, extended family. And you do have that - if you're lucky.
Then you become an adult, and some friendships move beyond familial love. THEY become family to you. And sometimes, they stay in your life for a long time. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they do both - drift in and out. And you have your family.
As you get older, it becomes pretty obvious who's got your back and who doesn't. Who rises to the occasion and who doesn't. I try not to focus on who doesn't have my back, because there are so many people out there that do! I have so many friends that I love dearly right now, more than I have ever had. Growing up, I had two BFF's, and that was pretty much it. I kinda thought that was all I had. Beck and Nida. I didn't think a girl needed more than that. And yet today, I've gotten this amazing group of women who have become so important to me, that sometimes, its just overwhelming.
So here is where your "build your own kit" comes in. Don't buy into the empirical belief that your support system is your family and friends. Your support system is what YOU decide. So build your own. At 37, I'm finally realizing who I love the most in this world. And these are the people who I spend time with, who I regularly text, who I know I could call at any moment and they'd be there. It doesn't have to be your family, but it can be. Of course it can be. But I believe in going beyond that.
If you piece together a group of people that love, support, and want you to do well - who will be real with you - hold onto them, and tell them that you love them. That you can't live without them, they are an integral part of your life. My daughter's girl scout troop has 11 lovely little girls in it, and I am the lucky one who gets to say I'm the troop leader. Even luckier that I get to lead it with my best friend (and future wife, haha), Khadija. She is also my sister in law. We joke that when we are old and gray we will be the last ones standing, so we will be retired somewhere on a beach together. So, not only do I get to lead a troop with her, but my daughter and my niece are in this troop. But the best part is - all 11 mommies are amazing ladies who have become dear friends. Some closer than others, but no worries - I'm coming after ya! Haha.
If someone told me that years ago, I would have said no way. And yet, here it is. With this support system of friends, I work out with them, write with them, have coffee dates, talk, share random funny texts, and the best part is where there is silence on my end. Just knowing I can pick up that phone or show up at their house and be welcomed and supported. The thought of them makes me smile.
And this is just the friends! I have Josh too. And my kids. How can I not feel lucky? I choose not to look at the other stuff. Because I want to focus on the good. And Beck and Nida? They're still around of course too.
And, I'm officially 50% at my goal. I'm at 2100. Only 1900 to go. Thank you all who have donated. It means everything to me. The SUPPORT. xoxo
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